Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I smile
I heard a song on the Christian radio station the other day that has onelittle powerful line that I can't get out of my head.The guy is singing that he smiles when he thinks about how far he's come,where he is today to compared to yesterday, he smiles when he thinks of whatGod has done for him. He just thinks of it and all he can do is smile.While listening, I realized I was smiling. And I've made sure to thank theLord every day for what He's given me. I don't have two pennies to rubtogether, but God has been good: I have a home that's warm, cozy and alwaysfull of food. I have a car that despite a big dent, drives great and keepsme warm in the winter and cool in the summer.I have the sweetest little puppy that quietly accepts when I'm not in themood or don't have time for a walk or a snuggle and gives me my space. Thenshe is always there, right where we left off, happier than ever to give melove and kisses I most of the time don't deserve from anybody.I have a family that, despite issues with siblings sometimes, I wouldn'ttrade them for anything or anyone.I started with a wonderful friend who turned into an awesome boyfriend whohas seen worse of me than anyone including my family, and still loves me. Imess up, I burn food, I can't remember a joke to repeat and often ruin thepunch line, I trip if I blink while walking, I'm not very patient and can becontrolling. He smiles, chuckles to himself, and says, "You have no ideahow much I love you."I now have a little part-time family of my own that used to look at me likeI was some strange, redhead with too much coffee in her system, and made meso insecure I couldn't be myself around them.Now, I'm as silly as I want to be and they think it's hilarious.I have a little girl that wants to whisper in my ear that she loves me, andruns to tell me she pooped so I can jump up and down and high-five her. Sheliterally screams with delight.I have a boy that wants to cook for me and show me his computer games that Idon't understand and speak in different languages with me, even ones I makeup, and he just smiles and tolerates me quietly and patiently like his dad.I have another littler girl that just stares at me: sometimes in shock,sometimes in awe, and it irritates me. Until I realize she constantly asksme for my opinion, wants to play games with me and only me, not even dad,and loves to go through my scarves, jewelry and shoes, and shares that incommon with me. She stares not only because I'm usually the loudest one,but because I know she is studying me, getting used to me and trying to knowme in her own way. This is my blessed life.And I smile.
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